Goodbye

Hey guys,
this is my last post.
So that I want to summarize my posts for you if you don't want to read them again:
I met Alicia, a very nice girl, and directly had sex with her. Then, she got pregnant and I was very confused and didn't want to become father:(, I left home and..in general, I didn't know what to do. Later, when we already had the baby, we split up, because didn't really love her anymore. Now, I see Roof whenever I want to and I am still skateboarding and studying. And I am really happy that we kept the baby, I am really proud of Roof:)

So, I just want to tell you that you should know a girl to have sex with. And you also should put a condom on. Don't make the same mistakes that I've done.
But I also want to tell you that you shouldn't give up your hobbies also if you have to look after a baby....I know the baby is more important, but sometimes you should go out skating or whatever your hobby is.

Now, I am finish and I hope you enjoy your teenage life! Be carful.

Bye,
your Sam

Roof

Really nice pic, isn't it?

If u have got questions, ask!

Chinese restaurant

Someday, I was woken up by my mobile beeping, I was in a bus going down Uper Street and next to me sat a pretty girl. But, whats's going on?! She talked to me, so that she knew me, but I didn't know her and I didn't know the reason for me sitting in this bus. Anyway, the mobile was beeping, I got an SMS from Alicia, she asked, where we were. I didn't know, what's going on, again!^^
After that, we, the pretty girl and me, got off at the Green and walked to a Chinese restaurant.Hmm, I like chinese food:). Alicia was sitting there with her boyfriend, called Carl. But, I didn't know, why...Anyway, Carl had long, dark, side-parted hair and a goatee. Then, I got to know, which name the pretty girl on my side had. She was called Alex.
The conversation of Alicia, Carl, Alex and me was about Roof and later the girls also talked about school. They said that I am in the same course as Alex and they also said that I have a part- time job. And...... that I would had given my skateboard away!! What the hell?! Skating?! But that wasn't everything, I listened that Alex is my new girlfriend, because she sleeps with me, so...she had to be. Great, this pretty girl :).

 I had a dream again :D, I was whizzed into future by Tony Hawk, again.^^
In my opinion, Tony Hawk was trying to tell me that I can take care of kids and find some money from somehwere. In general, he was trying to tell me that I can do my life and wouldn't have lots of problems with school, Roof and Alicia.

Seperation

So, to my mind,the time is very fast. I am 18 and so is Alicia, Roof is nearly two, my sister one and my parents aren't old, yet.
And now I give answeres to some questions. But I just tell you the answeres, because telling the questions would spent to much time.

1)Anyway, first to my sister Emily, she was born in the same hospital like Roof. But weird is that she is the aunt and younger than Roof.^^
Then, to the question if I realy had a day like in the future with Roof and his injections. Yes, when Alicia had a cold, so that I had to go with Roof to the doctor's. But on the day, I did know his name.
2)So, do I still talk to Tony Hawk? - We'll see^^.
3)And college, there's all fine, ok, not all, but the most.
4)Now to Alicia, the most interesting theme. In the evening, after we were in the Finsbury Park, we had sex, so that Alicia thought that we are together, again.Ahhh. The problem was that we slept in Rich's bedroom, Andrea came into the room on the next morning and said that we should come donwstirs fora conversation. But I don't want to tell you about that, it was too long. I just tell you about the end. Finally, I said Alicia that I don't love her anymore much enough for a realtionship. And I said it to her directly.

So, if I should give me a mark for my life. I would give me eight out of ten points for how I'm getting on with what I've got to do every day - Roof, college and all that. And for my life marks, i wouldsay not higher than three...^^


What do u think about the seperation, was it right, to do that, or not? Just comment.

And Roof?

Last, I've moved out by Alicia. So, in general, we split up. But now, we've got a problem. What's with Roof?! Oh my god!

Anyway, I have to tell you about the Internet, there you can find everything. And last, when I found the book of the Prime Minister in the Internet, I saw that 80% of teenager fathers lose touch with their kids, 80!! Same by me?!
After that, I went to Alicia to talk about that. Then, before the bathroom, we had a big conversation. A few minutes later, Andrea came cause we were so loud. Alicia saidto her that I was out with another girl, what wasn't real. And she also said that I could forget to see Roof anymore, but Andrea gave me the right.
Then, we went downstairs into the kitchen and sat down, we talked about that 80% lose touch with their kids and what's about us to this. Andrea said that Alicia ment it ironic that she got stressed before. Now, it was okay, also if it wasn't ironic. After this I saw Roof and went back home.

But wthat's with Roof now, I want to see him everytime, but Alicia is angry, because of me moving out. What can I do?!

Dad's visit

A couple of days later, my dad called me and wanted to see me. Finally, he will come to see Roof. So, we decided to meet us at Alicia's house,so, now, it's also mine, cause I sleep in there. Anyway, after that, I took the poster of Tony Hawk and put it on the wall, so that I could talk with him, we talked about his life and also about mine, but I put it away after this conversation, because I didn't have something to talk anymore.
So, when dad came, Roof, him and me went out to Italian restaurant on Highbury Park. There we drank beer and suddenly, he said that Alicia is a lovely girl and her parents also are great, but then he said that it cannot work with Alicia and me, because we have to look after Roof all the time and don't look at each other anymore. Aaaand that we are still 16 and don't have a time before all that, so that we don't really know eacht other. But, to my mind, one year is enough, so, Alicia was pregnant in this year, but the baby wasn't on the world at this long time. Hmm, he just wanted to help me.
A few minutes later, I went home, but I had a cold and coughed a lot, so that Alicia didn't want me to sleep next to her or Roof.
I decided to go to my old home, where I lived my hole life. After a small talk with mum, I went into my bedroom, but it was too quite. I couldn't here Roof. Then I talked to Tony Hawk. I'd taken the poster home with me, of course^^. So, I've moved out by Alicia.

Jason bloody Gerson!!

In the middle of the night, I woke up and Alicia said: 'He's awake.Your turn.' It was directly like when I was whizzed into the future.Everything was the same, but everything also wasn' the same...I know that's weird. So, everything was the same means that I woke up in the night and Roof needs changing. But not different was that I answered to Alicia's question if I love her, because back in the future I said nothing, but now, I said: 'Of course.' That's just an example, because every other details were different, just the general points were the same.
Anyway, next morning, when I went to college. Outside the classroom, I saw another guy from schooland I nooded at him. But he was really agressive and said that he's Roof's father. When he said that Alicia is a slag and still had fucked with everyone, I kicked him in the balls. That was a bit agressive of me, but he called Alicia as a bitch. And she is my baby's mother, so, what should I have done?!?
After school, I had a big discussion with Alicia and when I asked her about his name, she said it was Jason bloody Gerson, her ex-boyfriend!! The discussion really didn't find an end, she thought that Roof wouldn't interest me, I wouldn't love her and that I would be happy if Roof was his son, because my future isn't ruined then.Okay, the last point is true. Enough about this talk.

Later, I went out skating and when I was back, Alicia had to go. So that I was alone with my mum, sorry, I don't know why she was in there, and Roof. Just the three of us.

My new family

On september the 13, I moved into Alicia's house.But...I don't really want to, because I don't love Alicia anymore!! Problem is that I feel homesick, but mum said that it isn't for ever. We'll see.
Anyway in Alicia's bedroom Alicia and me decorated. We took away her Donnie Darko poster and put up the alphabet thing. Later, mum, Mark, Alicia's mum, Alicia, Rufus and me sat down in the room. Noone said anything, but everyone looked at Alicia fedding Roof, so, at her breasts.
A few minutes later, Mark went out of the room. And I also wanted to, but Alicia said that I live here and said to the others to go out. Then, it was still her, Roof and me.
Quite later, I pu my TH poster down on the bed, but Alicia ment that it cannot be put up in the room. And I couldn't tell her that I talked to Tony Hawk in this moment. I do it later.

Rufus' birth

On september 12
Before, I was at Alicia's home and met her in the bathroom. It was funny, because she was naked so that I could see her fat tummy well. Of course that is normal, because she is pregnant, but that looks really strange.
Later, at the hospital, I was really nervous, because it was Rufus birth. That's so exciting!!:) But when I wanted to help Alicia, she was agressive to me, but her mum took along her cd-player with slow music which relaxed Alicia. But I hate this music and by the birth, we listened  to Rufus Wainwright and it also wasn't really cool, because everywhere was so much blood,slime and a bit shit of Alicia^^. So,euhh..back to the singer, you know that I was whizzed into the future twice and that the baby's name in the second one was Rufus. So that I wanted the baby called Rufus, but Alicia's parents didn't want to and they also wanted the baby called Burns as surname, then we had a big discussion, because my mum wanted that it is called Jones like me.
But a bit later, Alicia said that the baby is called Rufus Jones and I was really happy about that. Happy face :):):) -> Me. That was really kind of her!!;)

Best day in my life!! I'm so lucky that Roof is my baby.

Slam!!

Because of Rubbish, I had a really bad Slam down at the bowl. My leg wasn't broken, but it hurt so much x(. And the worst is that mum said that I cannot skate anymore, cause for the next two years, my life is going to be pushing. And Alicia won't thank if I break a limb. WtF?! It wasn't my fault, it was Rubbish's!! He slept on the ground, where I was skating! And I cannot forget or forgive skating! Expect Roof, that's the most important for me!!

But there's still something good happened. In the moment, I like to live with Mum and Marc.
Mum is like a friend for me, because she is also pregnant. But weird is that her kid will be younger than my one.
And Marc is very cool. He's quite the opposite of dad, he likes Europe and reads a book or the newspaper with words in it. And to my mind, he's a good partner for mum, because she is going to be a 32-year-old-grandmother and Marc is a step forwards, not like mum backwards. So, I like him enough and I am glad that he is around mum.
My life is going to turn good:).

My baby's name?!

First when I woke up, I dressed my t-shirt with a symbol of Tony Hawk and fire. What a nice one...Anyway, in this dream I knew the name of Mark's daugther, Emily. And my son, called Roof, was two years old.

In the beginning, I was at home with Mum, Mark and Emily. Suddenly, Alicia came and asked me if I can bring Roof to the doctor for his jab. So, I asked why, but then I brought him to the doctor.
But when the woman behind the desk asked for his name, I wasn't sure, if his name was R. Jones or R. Burns x(. But I said Jones, because that's my name and I am the father. But there wasn't R. Jones at the list on her computer. Then I asked for R. Burns. And she asked, what his full name is. I said Roof, but that also wasn't right, because nobody called Roof was at the list. F***!
So that we had to go back. On the way, I asked him for his name. He said: 'Rufus', now I knew his name, but to go back to the doctor was to embarrassing for me. When we met Alicia, we just said that he got the jab.
After that I went home and talked with my mum about Alicia, Roof and especially me.

Moving in by Alicia?!

Yeah, it's not a joke, I will have got a new family!
But the point is that I don't want to.
When I was by Alicia, we talked to Andrea and Robert. These are Mr. and Miss. Burns, so,..her parents.
So,...there we talked about Alicia's future and mine with the baby. About where we will live, etc.
And Alicia just said that WE want to live in their house together. 'I thought: Sorry, what?!' I didn't want to and she still didn't talk to me about that. Her parents were shocked really much and me too. But I had to say that I also mean to, because otherwise that would be bad for our baby. Cause she would think that I don't want to live with her together, so that it would be bad for the baby, if we live divorced. And she also wouldn't be sure, if I still really love her.
That would be really bad, because I have just done that it looks like I would love her. And that would be really bad for our baby.
After that, I was skating with Rubbish. And I was jealous of him, because....yeah of course he cannot skating -Rubbish- ...but he hasn't got problems with his real live like me. Rubbbish has a better life, I would repeat this again and again- But...Rubbish!! :( That's so embarrassing.
Later, when I was back home, my mum talked to me about me living by Alicia. Apparently her mum talked to her. mum wasn't really happy about that news, but.. the problem is that I don't mean to live with her together.
But if I would be honest that would be bad for Alicia, so that for the baby.....  It's Weird!

List from NCT

~ wake up every night - no sleep
~ be sensible
~ poverty
~ less freedom
~ grow up too fast
~ society's and family's acceptanc
~ stress
~ a hard job
~ love [wow..positiv  :-P ]
~ spend a lot (money,time...)
~ living forever with your partner
~ give up many hobbies
~ etc.

NCT classes

Maybe not everyone does know, what NCT means, so.... it stands for  Something Childbirth Something. This was so horrible, becuase there are only people who are older than my mum.
So, before the hospital, there we wanted to know, if all is fine. And everything is okay. Me-> Happy face! :)
And the fisrt (new) kiss with Alicia, it's a nice time now.
But by the NCT classes, there were people such as my teacher. At the beginning, I didn't want to go in, but for Alicia I did. Later, we both thought that we should go somewhere where are people in our age. Because we should be the kids of the others in the classes called NCT classes. So..okay, back to the NCT classed.
First, we had to sit in a circle and say our names to everyone.
After that, we had to write down positive and neagtive aspects that we expect from fatherhood.
My next post will be the list!

And that's our baby:

Should we keep the baby?

It's so difficult, Alicia totaly wants to have the baby. But I don't want to become father and....okay, I also don't want to kill the baby, but ..arrr I don't know what to do. Because we are 16 and we still go to school, so that having a baby is really complicated, you are stressed so much, but Alicia totaly wants to keep the baby.
But.., our future!!:( I am still good at school and don't have time for looking after a baby every time.

TH said that we should keep it, because otherwise we would kill the baby and he also told that to be going to have a baby is something to be happy about not to worry about, also if I am still a teenager.

Back home

My world is so weird, everything is so confused!:(
okay,..you want to know,what happened now?. I tell you.
After waiting for a room, I finally got one.
But the night was so bad, because Mr. Brady woke me up, because he had lost his remote control. So that I had to follow and help him, if I want to get 20 pounds. Then I went back to my room and could sleep...finally!!
On the next morning, I felt really homesick and knew that the life by Alicia, her parents, my mum and my friends is much better than the life here in Hastings, because when I get 20 pounds from Mr. Brady for hard work, because I have to wake up at 4 o'clock in the morning, and have to pay 20 pounds for the B&B, that's shit. Because I don't get more money than I have to pay, so that I cannot buy anything to eat or to drink. There is just the money that I took along.
I am so stupid, why did I do this?! That was so silly!=(

So, I didn't want to be more stupid, so that I decided to go back home.
When I was at home, I supposed that my mum was at work, but she sat there and a policewoman was next to her!! Mum was really angry ]:-, cause I didn't say anything.
Suddenly my mum wasn't angry anymore, because Alicia had told her that she was pregnant. Then the policwoman went away. Thereafter, I found out that Alicia didn't told her, but why!?!... On the one hand was this a good sign, cause...maybe she isn't pregnant. But on the other hand, I hadn't had a good reason anymore for being away over the night. Well, I told my mum about the dream and Hastings. After that, mum worried and wanted to have a family counselling( also with my father). Hereafter, mum went to work.

In this moment I was really confused, cause I could only think about Alicica, is she pregnant or not?! So that I drove with the bus to her house, but I didn't want her to see me. So, I leaned against a lamp-post, but I couldn't see anybody in Alcica's room. Then, I went back home, again. But why didn't I just knocked on the door and asked(if Alicia was in there), because I wanted to have a response to the question ''Is Alicia pregnant or not?!'' Because then, I would have an answer now!!

Hastings

Because of the being whizzed into the future I have to go away from Alicia and my and her family. So, I decided to go to Hastings, because to my mind it is the greatest place for me to emigrate and have a new life.
...So that I live in Hastings now. But Hastings isn't like before..because now, it seems to be different to find a job. But later when I was in a hotel to spend the night in there and had to wait for someone, who works there, I met an old man. And I got my first job, because if I help him to go down or up the steps to the hotel, I will get 20 quid per day! Yes!!!^^ I got a job in Hastings.
I will tell you more tomorrow.

Roof, the terrorist

Lol, what a title, isn't it:D:D
Anyway, one morning, I woke up and had to look after my baby called Roof..You didn't know that I have a kid,..yeah I agree, I also didn't know that.So that I had to woke up one year later, and...I didn't anything from this year except I have a baby. And that I woke up next to Alicia .. in her room!!x( x(
Later, I knew that I lived there. Everything was really weird, because how could this happen, I mean that I didn't knew almost anything of the last year. Anyway, so, when I should look after Roof, I should change his nappy, but I dind't know how to do that. Surprising.
Later I went out of the house and met a girl, who was a friend of mine..but I didn't know her. 'What's going on?!'...so she was someone I had get to know in the last year. Anyway, she had shown me how to change a nappy.
After that, I went home again and met my mother in Alicia's (now also my) house...etc.

But I am lucky, because that was just Tony Hawk's whizzing me into the future. Puhh...But if I ignore this, maybe later it would really happen and that would be reeeally bad. Because I am a teenager and even go to school!

What's about my future?

I am really scared, because I am like my mother, she had me as baby, when she was sixteen. OmG!
And now, I am sixteen and already had sex x(... with Alicia, so that it could be that I would become father. And I don't want to become a dad, because:
a) I am still sixteen,
b) i am not sure, if I really still love Alicia
and c) my future in the college would be blocked ( like when my mum had me as baby).
Sorry, I am really confused, because (I am repeating myself^^) I love Alicia, but I don't love Alicia like before, but she loves me really much. And when she would have a baby, that is really bad.
Fuck, what can I do. TH said that I should wait and see if I am going to become father.

I love Alicia..I don't love her....

I woke up one morning and didn’t feel the same for Alicia as before!! That made me fraking out! Because before, I loved her more than anything else, but now..OmG!
Now it wasn’t really bad, when we couldn’t see each other for one, two or more days. That's so discusting!
And I already talked about leaving her, not loving or missing her..nothing, so, to my mind I have changed really much.
I remember the words of my mum, that if I only go out with Alicia and don't have time for anything else, I would lose the time for other things like skating. I am not sure, if I still love her, but I think I don’t.

In the vening, I asked TH about what he thinks to this. And he said that I should calm down see what will happen...But I cannot wait!

I love Alicica so much

I love Alicia really much, I can’t get enough of her, I think about her all the time and also tell a lot Tony Hawk.Anyway, you know, I cannot forget her. :):). ^^It's a bit weird, ahhh, not a just a bit. ha ha.
Anyway, when there is a day, we can’t see each other, like the evening with my mum by pizza express and in the cinema, I freak out and already think that Alicia would have sex with another person, for example with her ex. Like 'WtF!?'. But if you think now that I am jealous, I can promise you, I am defenetly not! But later she answered, so that I calmed down.:):)
I had already found my dream-girl in Alicia. I was not ever happier!

Special evening

Now, I tell you about the special evening by Alicia.
At the first moment by seeing each other,  it was boring, because I didn't want to go the party and when we sat in her room, nobody said anything...Boring:(.
But suddenly, Alicia began with the conversation and it was better, because I didn't think bad about her anymore.
Anyway, I liked her more and more and thought about falling in love with Alicia. But then I reminded, that everyone loves her because she is really pretty. So that I wasn't sure, if I have got chances by her.
But when she told about her ''ex-boyfriend'' and sex, I knew, that she wanted to have sex with me, because now she is ready and then she could avenge at her ''ex''. Almost we had sex, but just almost.
Anyway, Alicia asked me for going into the cinema, maybe she would really falled in love with me.
Everything should be secret, but I had to tell friends, because I felt bad, if I wouldn't do this.
After that by Alicia at home, we were going to have sex, almost we hadn't sex, cause I was nervous and not sure, if that's right. But after a moment we had sex. :) I had sex with this pretty girl. I'm so proud of me.. And know, I really love her:):).

Tony Hawk

First, I have to say that sometimes, I say TH for Tony Hawk, because it's shorter.
Now, do you know TH? - To my mind, you do, because everyone does, he's the best skateboarder in the world and you have to. If you don't know him, shame on you!

About me

I don't want to have missunderstandings, so, at first, I have to say: 'Skating, not skateboarding! ', because we only say this. ;).


To me. My name is Sam, I'm 16 and I live in Highbury. For fun I go out skating with friends, for this I have to say that I love Tony Hawk, I'm not gay, but euhh... he's my idol. Besides, my parents got divorced.

After that to my parents, my mum is called Annie Jones and she's 32 years old. Moreover, she works in a hotel. Now to my father, he's called Dave Jones and a plumber.

Then to my friends, I just tell you from two of my friends, because otherwise it would be too much to tell. Anyway, Rabbit is in the same age as me and has excellent skating skills. And Rubbish, he's called Rubbish, because he's so bad in skating..oh god. ha ha.

To my mind, you already know the main informations about me, but there are still more. So, I'm a good student, my best subject as school is art and design :) and I hate maths x( ^^.

Now, I have to tell you something really important. I had never told anybody before. When I got into skating, my mum bought me a poster of Tony Hawk. And now,...I am talking to him^^. It's weird, but believe me! At first, I only talked with him about sakting, but now, I also talk with him about things like school, mum, etc. Moreover, I had already read his book ''Hawk - Occupatin: Skateboarder'' for 50 times. And everything he tells to me by talking to him is out of this book. That's the best book ever written! You have to read it ,too! Also if you're not a skater.